Angie & Jim

Servicesby Jim

Funeral services for my mother, Kathy Ann Packard Hoffman, will be held on Tuesday, April 1, 2014. The services are at 6 PM at the Newnan LDS Meetinghouse at 821 Old Atlanta Highway, Newnan, Georgia.

The burial will be on Friday, April 4, 2014 at the Harmony Grove Cemetery located at 11455 East Locke Rd, Lockeford, California. We will be holding a memorial service in the Harmony Grove Church (adjacent to the cemetery) from 1-2 PM. The grave will be dedicated following the service.

Following the burial, we will gather for visiting and a catered meal at the Heritage Oak Winery (a property that has been in the Hoffman family for generations). The address of the property is 10112 East Woodbridge Rd, Acampo, California. If you would like to attend, please RSVP Roger before Wednesday, April 2.

If you are unable to attend, but would still like to honor Kathy, please visit her online memory tree and submit a memory to share with her family. The address is http://memory-tree.jigawot.net You may also enjoy reading the other memories friends and family have written.

A Journey’s Endby Jim

About half past midnight, our beloved wife and mother, Kathy Ann Packard Hoffman, peacefully passed away surrounded by her loving family. Her breathing slowed and weakened for a few minutes giving us enough time to gather the family and then she reached the end of her journey. She battled Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease for more than six months, and she fought valiantly until the end. She led an exemplary life and blessed all those who were fortunate enough to know her. The impact she had on countless lives can never be measured. You are an inspiration and a strength to all of us, Mom. We love you.

A Rare Findby Jim

Mom hasn’t been able to close her eyes the last few nights, which seems to make sleeping difficult. We gave her a little muscle relaxant last night to help her be drowsy enough to get some sleep, which helped for about eight hours. The hospice nurse told us that she may sleep with her eyes open and that that is pretty normal. Mom’s breathing has continued to be fast but even. She still sounds congested, but she hasn’t been coughing — though, I don’t believe she could cough now if she needed to. It’s been days since she’s had any significant amount to drink, but the nurse assured us that when the body is shutting down, desires for food and water also fade and that, from what she can tell, Mom is as content and as comfortable as she can be.

Dad and Becka spent some time cleaning Mom’s office today and they found the original film of a special experience from Mom’s childhood. Her father, David, was deployed to Korea while her mother, Vera, was pregnant. When Mom was six weeks old, Vera had the rare opportunity to be featured on a TV spot that supported the war by filming messages from family members and sending the film to their loved ones in the military (as well as airing the spots on television as a promotional item). After receiving it, David had to travel quite a ways to be able to watch it. That film has been a treasured family heirloom that Mom watched many times while growing up. They had made a digital copy a few years ago, so Dad found the DVD and played it in the living room for Mom. As soon as it started playing, Mom’s eyes shifted to look at the screen. She looked very intent, and it was the closest expression to a smile that we’ve seen in a few days. Her attention span was short, and she was soon looking away in a sort of daze once more, but Becka and Angie both felt that it was an authentic response to that familiar footage.

This afternoon we received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from Dad’s cousin, Bob and Joyce. It was very sweet of them to send. Thank you for your kindness.

Later this afternoon Jon and I went out shopping and I realized that it has been nearly a week since I’ve even l stepped outside the house. The strange thing was that it didn’t really feel like it had been very long. I guess I don’t go stir crazy very easily, especially when I’m busy doing something I think is important.

Angie’s been doing a great job taking care of Mom’s house plants and today she brought in some of the lemon blossoms that have opened and we put them with the peach blossoms from yesterday. Angie also brought a pot of Mom’s African violets into the living room so she could see it blooming.

Rebecca has been very diligent in helping Mom be comfortable by swabbing Mom’s mouth out frequently to keep it moist. Mom had a hard time when Becka sponged with just water, so now she’s using some thickener the hospice provided, so it’s less likely to drip down the wrong pipe and make her cough. Rebecca read online that keeping Mom’s mouth wet is the best thing to do to relieve any discomfort she may have from being dehydrated. I’m sure it helps her feel better to have her mouth kept clean this way.

For our Family Home Evening tonight, we did another lesson on family history. Dad read a presentation he did for a community family history conference recently and then we watched a video about the Granite Mountain in Utah where billions of records are kept and preserved. It was very fascinating. For dessert we had some brownies made by Becka topped with jam that I made. We watched “Smile for Life” (which Becka said got the best response out of Mom since watching her baby movie) and then we sang hymns for a bit, had prayers, and said goodnight.

Thank you all for your continued prayers and support. We feel a special strength and spirit in this home as we serve our mother. I know that comes from you.

Sunday Happeningsby Jim

Today was another quiet day. This morning, Rebecca pulled out a sign that was made for Mom on her 60th birthday five days shy of two years ago. For her 60th birthday, we all surprised her by showing up at my brother’s house in Portland. We spent the evening together and Mom wrote in her journal that day that it was the best birthday of her life. She loved the occasion so much that she put together a scrapbook just about that weekend. Rebecca read to her from that book and showed her the pictures.

We watched music & the spoken word this morning, which was especially meaningful to us today. They sang Rebecca’s favorite song, which was very beautiful. She told us that David Warner wrote the words, which makes it even more poignant.

One of the things we’ve been doing is going through some of Mom’s old journals. We found one from when she was a young mom and my sisters have been happy to see that Mom struggled with the same things they struggle with. It gave them hope knowing that Mom had the same difficulties they have and that she still turned out as wonderfully as she did. One thing that Rebecca also commented on was that one thing she really admired in Mom was that she never stopped improving herself. That, too, gives her hope.

This afternoon, we sang a hymn and administered the sacrament. It was a special experience to do that service for Mom. Afterwards, we had a little testimony meeting, kind of like we used to have when we were kids. It was good to share a few words with each other about our gratitude for Mom and our testimonies that she helped to instill in us.

We were imagining what it will be like when Mom gets to the other side and is greeted by all those Hungarian ancestors that she’s done temple work for and how they’ll all want to give her a hug. We then wondered what the Hungarian word for “hug”, so Angie went and grabbed Mom’s Hungarian dictionary. She said, “Hungarians must be a very loving people, because they have 4 words for different kinds of hugs!” I’m sure she’ll get all 4 kinds when she is greeted.

Rebecca went out and cut a small branch from the peach tree to show Mom and let her smell the blossoms. It was very beautiful, so we put it in a little vase next to her bed.

Louise (one of Mom’s life-long friends) sent Dad a letter that Mom had sent to her about five years ago. Dad read it to us; it was about the role of mother and Mom’s decision to be a Mom instead of pursuing a career. She was told by a high school teacher that she was throwing away her career by choosing to go to BYU instead of a place like Stanford. She knew she wanted to go to a place that put as much emphasis on gospel learning as it did secular learning. She also knew she wanted to learn all she could so that she could be a better mother. She said in the letter that she firmly believes that the best contribution anyone can make to this world is not a successful career or big paycheck, but raising a new and strong generation. She dedicated her life to doing just that: raising a righteous family.

Mom’s breathing gets a little weaker each day. She’s starting to sound a little congested. Jason is going to join us by taking a watch tonight and stay up with her.

A Scripture Storyby Jim

Yesterday morning, I reminded Mom of a scripture story that she had shared with me while I was on my mission and that had had a profound impact on me at that time: Right after Christ heard that his cousin, John, had been killed, he left on a boat to be alone. The people heard of his departure and followed him. Even though he was grieving, he looked on them and had compassion on them and healed their sick and then taught them. When it became evening, the disciples told the Lord that He should send the people away, but He commanded his disciples to feed the multitude. They had only five loaves and two fish, certainly an insufficient amount for five thousand people. Jesus told them to bring what they had and He blessed it and they proceeded to feed the throng. When all were filled, they gathered up what remained and had twelve baskets full. This miracle is familiar to all Christianity, but the profound idea that Mom shared with me over 10 years ago was the practical application to our lives. The Lord requires a lot of us: we are even commanded to be perfect — certainly an impossible task. But, just as he said to his disciples, if we bring Him what we have and let the Lord bless it, it will be more than enough to accomplish the task He’s given us. And, when we are done, we will have more than we started with. So it is with what we do. If we dedicate ourselves to Christ-like service and let the Lord bless our efforts, we can become better than when we started. Mom exemplified this principle. She dedicated her life to serving others and it has made her magnificent.