A Dip in the Poolby Jim

Tue
11 Mar 2014
9:03 pm
0

I actually wanted to start before 3 PM where Angie left off.  Something very cute happened this morning after breakfast.  Jon and I had just laid Mom down on the couch for a rest (breakfast is pretty exhausting) when Jon grabbed a pillow and said, “Pillow fight!”  Then he very gently “hit” Mom in the stomach with it.  That got Mom to giggle.  He then touched the pillow to her face, which made her laugh even more.

Another sweet moment happened while Mom was resting.  Sometimes when she lies down for a nap it’s difficult for her to relax and close her eyes, even though she’s tired.  We turned on some of her favorite music and and “How Firm a Foundation” from Roger Hoffman’s album came on.  Jon started quietly singing to Mom along with it and to his surprise she began singing as well.  She struggled to form the words and to voice similar notes and rhythm.  Many would not consider it much but in her state it is a precious exertion that she is willing to expend for the hymns she loves so much.

After Mom’s short rest, we put on some YouTube and showed Mom her favorite music video, “Smiles for Life”, by Alex Boye and then one of her favorite Studio C sketches, “Dana’s Dead”.  We had an incident last night where Mom coughed and sputtered a bit while we were getting her water before bed.  It got Dad a little wet, and afterward Mom thought it was pretty funny.  It reminded Dad of “Dana’s Dead” — that really gets her laughing, which is why we watched it today.  You’ll understand when you watch it.  I’ll include a link below.  As she usually does, Mom loved it and laughed out loud as we watched.  The picture of her on the couch with a huge smile is while we were watching it.

After Mom’s sit in the sun, Carol noticed that she was pretty warm.  Angie went to help change her into something cooler and jokingly suggested that Mom go for a swim in their little indoor pool.  Much to Angie’s surprise, Mom’s eyes lit up and she nodded and it was clear she wanted to.  A couple days ago we suggested it, but she was scared to try — but not today.  So, they put her in her swimsuit and we brought her to the pool.  It took all of us helping to get her into the water safely, but once she was in, she loved it.  I think it really helped to loosen her up.  Her arms and legs tend to get stiff during the day and floating in the pool seemed to be relaxing for her.

This evening Mom smiled and laughed along with Jon as they watched Anne of Avonlea.  (Yesterday they watched Anne of Green Gables.)  It really is the perfect thing to watch with Mom right now.  It’s such good wholesome entertainment and an old family favorite.  Since we’ve seen it so many times, it is easy for Mom to follow along and she seems to really enjoy it.

We ended the day again singing Mom to sleep — or at least, singing before she went to sleep.  I think she likes staying awake to listen to us, so we have to stop so we don’t keep her up too late.  We always either start and/or end with the Family Prayer Song Joseph wrote a few years ago that she loves so much.

Thank you all for your love and prayers and support.

Smiles for Life: http://youtu.be/Zz3ZbP0IF7A
Dana’s Dead: http://youtu.be/5BxyeGdCyD4

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Memories and Sunshineby Angie

Tue
11 Mar 2014
3:03 pm
0

Mom had an eventful day today! After breakfast, we made her comfortable on the couch and I pulled out a spiral-bound notebook I found last week in her office. It only had writing on the first dozen pages, but what was there was golden: Mom, the amazing journalist that she was, had taken the time to sit in each room of the “Big House” and jot down some memories before they moved. I read it aloud to her, and was both delighted and moved by her thoughtfulness. That house holds so many memories for our family, and it was clear by her responses that she felt the same nostalgia now as she did then. It was a very sweet experience.

I hope this isn’t too personal, but I had another sweet moment this morning when a home health aide visited us and helped us bathe Mom. I had the opportunity to wash Mom’s hair for her. As I did, my heart welled up with gratitude as I remembered a day nearly seven years ago when I was recovering from open-heart surgery, and Mom offered to wash my hair for me. I had been self-conscious at first, but she served me with such love and tenderness that it was truly a bonding moment. Today I had the chance to return that gift, and it was a pleasure to do it.

All the movement of bathing and changing clothes is pretty exhausting to Mom, so she slept for a while when we were done. After her nap and some lunch, we took her outside to enjoy the sunshine and warm weather. Jim has been reading to her from the book she compiled from her early journals as a young mom, and I got a picture of the boys enjoying her company outside.

Before we came in, another visitor arrived. Millie is Mom’s visiting teacher and, even though her own husband has been in the hospital, she has taken the time to stop by a couple of times a week for short chats ever since Mom returned to Georgia last month.

Well, that only brings me up to about 3pm, but I’m going to let Jim finish up the day because he has some pictures to share of this afternoon’s grand adventure!

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The Master Editorby Jim

Mon
10 Mar 2014
10:03 am
0

We had an interesting chat over lunch yesterday that I wanted to share: we started talking about seeing our lives after we die.  Dad told Carol that in most recorded near-death experiences the individual usually sees their own life play back.  Jon started talking about how interesting it would be to watch a playback of our life.  Not so much from a near-death experience perspective, all in a flash, but just if someone could put together a movie of our life.  He supposed that you could make someone look like a real jerk or a saint just by how you choose to “edit” their “footage.”  We started talking about how our own memories are somewhat selective and that a movie (edited by someone else) could be very eye opening to someone about themselves.  Carol then suggested that the Atonement takes out the bad parts.  I said that makes the Savior the best editor for our life movies, and that the Atonement is what makes it possible.  We all agreed that Mom’s movie would be the longest of all of ours, having the fewest parts removed.

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A Quiet Sabbathby Jim

Sun
9 Mar 2014
9:03 pm
0

Today was a nice quiet sabbath.  This morning Mom was sitting on the couch with her eyes closed and Dad and Jon were having a conversation about parenting.  Both of them thought Mom was asleep, but at one point in the conversation, when Dad said something about some particular point of parenting, Mom emphatically nodded her head in agreement.  Never underestimate the attentiveness of a mother.

After lunch, Mom had a nice long nap on the couch.  She was really sleepy at lunch, so it didn’t surprise us much that she slept for a couple of hours.  She seems to be sleeping more lately.  Mom woke up rather suddenly (on her own) and gave Angie a smile, who had just looked over at her.  We sat her up and sang a sacrament hymn and then administered the sacrament.  Afterwards, we sang a few more of Mom’s favorite hymns (she likes them all, so we can sing just about anything we know and it is one of her favorites).  After the singing, we took Mom out to the backyard to sit in the sunny, beautiful 71° weather.  There was a slight breeze which felt heavenly.  I read a bit to Mom from the book she made for us a couple years ago.  What a great testament of her love to her family is contained in that book.

For dinner, Angie roasted a delicious lamb that she found in the freezer.  When Angie first suggested it to Dad, he said he loved the idea, but only if we “had a full jar of mint jelly on hand.”  They had to dig around a bit, but huzzah, we found one!  She also made mashed potatoes and Mom’s glazed carrots.  Yum.

After dinner, we watched a documentary on the Polynesian Cultural Center that aired on BYU TV back in 2005.  It’s really neat, so if you’ve got some time, you ought to watch it.  Mom has always had a very special place in her heart for Hawai’i.  Before bed, Mom got a massage from Aunt Carol and then we tucked her in and sang to her for about half an hour.  Dad joined us and we all knelt and said a family prayer before saying goodnight to Mom.

I’d like to share a thought I had last week as we flew into Atlanta.  Each day Mom gets a little worse.  She’ll speak less, or eat more slowly, or be less responsive.  I knew it would be like this before coming out here to help, and it scared me to have to face that every day.  But then I had a Pres. Uchtdorf moment and I thought of an airplane analogy.  I thought that this experience is like trying to land a plane.  There are certain things you have to do to land a plane safely like slowing down and lowering the flaps and the landing gear.  Our job right now is to help Mom be as comfortable as possible and surround her with love and support so she can come in and land smoothly.  Thinking about that has given me strength during these last several days.

BYU TV special on the PCC: Beyond the Dream

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Yes/No Boardby Jim

Sun
9 Mar 2014
5:03 pm
0

I wanted to share a funny story from yesterday.  While we were sitting out on the back porch, Kay had a great idea: since Mom has a hard time speaking, especially when she’s tired, we made her a little board she can use to point to her answer of Yes or No.  I quickly made her this board and brought it out to test it with her.  Angie asked the sample question: “Do you know this guy sitting next to you?”  Referring to Dad, who was on her left.  Mom got a great big grin on her face and pointed to the No side.  That got a good laugh out of all of us outside with her.  Then as a follow-up question, Angie asked, “Do you like this guy next to you?”  And still smiling, she pointed to Yes.

Most of the time Mom is able to say a word or two when we ask her a question, but sometimes she just can’t vocalize, so the Yes/No board had been quite useful.

Mom's Yes/No Board

Mom’s Yes/No Board

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Quips and Gigglesby Angie

Sun
9 Mar 2014
9:03 am
0

It’s been another quiet day so far with Mom, but we had the delight of hearing her audibly laugh at a quip Jim made.  We had been watching Mountain of the Lord, but Dad paused it so we could go have lunch.  He took Maggie from Mom’s hands and said, “We’ll just set her down so we can get you into the wheelchair, but maybe we’ll bring her over to the table while we have lunch.  Does Maggie want lunch?” Jim chimed in, “No, she’s stuffed.” Mom grinned and laughed along with everyone.  I was very happy to see it.

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Visitors and Theatricalsby Angie

Sat
8 Mar 2014
10:03 pm
0

This morning for breakfast, Louise made palacsintas and cinnamon-sauteed apples.  Mom was not her usual chipper self and was tired enough to take a nap after breakfast.

Around 11am, Jason & Tiffany arrived with their girls for a visit but since Mom was still asleep we played upstairs for a while and prepared a puppet show for Grandma Hoffman.  Once she was awake, Jim helped us transport and set up the puppet theater in the living room and we put on “Goldilocks and the Three Bears.”

The girls went home after that for lunch and we tried to feed Mom as well.  We’ve been successful at helping her drink more today, but she is definitely eating less.  After lunch she spent some time out in the sunshine, first sitting on the back porch and then being wheeled up and down the street in Rover by Jim.

Finally, it was time for Louise to head out to the airport so we said our goodbyes and brought Mom in.  She was worn out but not sleepy, so we curled up on the couch and watched Finding Nemo.  Jon arrived shortly before it ended, and sat with us while we watched a couple of episodes of Studio C.  He’d had a long night and a long flight, though, so he went to take a nap for a while and Mom eventually said she wanted to lie down as well.

Jim helped her get comfortable on her side on the couch and sat with her for a minute to make sure she was comfortable.  I was behind the couch, looking down, and thought for a moment that she seemed to be trying to say something, but then I realized that she was actually mouthing the words to the song that was playing: an arrangement of “Jesus, the Very Thought of Thee” by (“the other”) Roger Hoffman.  It was so sweet.

She rested until dinnertime.  We were initially a bit discouraged that we still couldn’t get her to eat much, and she was having trouble drinking the chocolate milk (Ensure) that her blood pressure medicine was mixed into. Jon apparently had the magic touch: she suddenly started drinking again very determinedly.  She finished the entire 8oz of liquid, and we were all very relieved.

All that determination took its toll — she wanted to go to sleep before 7pm.  Jim and Dad got her into bed and I knelt next to her and asked if she wanted the Family Prayer song.  She did, so I sang, and she wanted me to go on after that so I sang all the quiet primary songs and hymns I could think of.  Several times I saw her mouthing words again.  Once, I mixed up the words and her eyes widened – I could tell that she noticed.  Jim and Jon joined me after a while and we sang a few more before saying goodnight.  She said “Goodnight, Jim” and finally closed her eyes to sleep.

IMG_20140308_135746

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